It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
