Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
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