My room smells like vodka and shame
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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