I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Randomize
