So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
