dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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