I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize