well I can't set my house on fire every night
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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