Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
