i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
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I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
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Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
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