You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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