That's when you crack a 10am beer
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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