My sheets look like a crime scene.
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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