i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
love makes seman taste better
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
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