This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
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