I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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