walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
