pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
