Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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