He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
