he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Randomize
