Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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