youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize