I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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