I think my fart just growled at me.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
