Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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