i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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