My hand turned me down
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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