How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Randomize
