Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
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