pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
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your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
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I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
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