honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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