i think my mom watched the whole time
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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