woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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