but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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