Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
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