just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
