You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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