You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
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Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
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I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
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