I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
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well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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