You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
