They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
