Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Randomize
