omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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