At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Also, beer. Big fan.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
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