About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
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