I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
