So drunk, too bad you don't want this
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
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