Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
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