Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize
