The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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