just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Randomize
