you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
