Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
It's blow job season.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Holy shit dude........stairs
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
