thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
