Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I think I sprained my soul last night
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Randomize
