So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Randomize
