i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Randomize
