mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
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