I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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