i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
