Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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