i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
