I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
