Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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