He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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