Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
