Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
