Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
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