I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
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