i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
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