your parents love me but you hate me
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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