oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
the condom got lost in my hair
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Randomize
