I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
