shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
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