He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize
