absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
