Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Randomize
